Was given the DVD "Being Dad." It was okay, nothing to rave about. I am one of those who dislikes football so using football references (such as the day his wife goes into labour as Grand Final Day) was off putting.
I did get a few things out of it the main points being that we as men are absolutely useless during this time. Second, that each pregnancy is completely different not only among couples, but between first, second and third times in a family.
I do think this dvd is a must watch for couples to watch together. Because it allows the one who is actually pregnant to see that us men cant really do anything during this time. We cant really be involved but it proves that we do try ;)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Baby talk
Hmm, I see so many parents (men and women) devolve into baby speak around their kids. Is this necessary? Am i expected to coogey coogey coo when my newborn comes home? Is it acceptable to actually speak to your new baby/toddler like a normal person?
Im not one for "acting" like that, perhaps ill change. God i hope not.* Id like to think that if you treat and speak to your kids like human beings in a mature way it will develop into a mature level headed person. Not a child who needs to be taught how to speak properly as they get older because they were belittled with baby speak.
* please note, this star is a reminder to read this each time i may possibly be sucked into the coogey coo speak. Consider it a slap in the face old man!
Im not one for "acting" like that, perhaps ill change. God i hope not.* Id like to think that if you treat and speak to your kids like human beings in a mature way it will develop into a mature level headed person. Not a child who needs to be taught how to speak properly as they get older because they were belittled with baby speak.
* please note, this star is a reminder to read this each time i may possibly be sucked into the coogey coo speak. Consider it a slap in the face old man!
Such a scam
Gotta say, private health surely must know what the medical world is up to when it comes to claiming. In our case, obstetricians... We have our schedule, monthly visits booked. How long are they for? 10 minutes each, and usually at a time that is utterly inconvienant (for example 3pm)
This means that i have to take a considerable time off work to sit in an office and have him say "so any questions?" IF... IF we say no, thats it, thanks for coming, dont let the door hit yout ass on the way out. He checks blood pressure and listens for the babies heart. Sends the bill to our health fund... an extreme amount.
I hear the people who did it via the public systems, they still had appointments, less frequent and didnt cost a thing. I wonder if we will progress (in the distant future) to the stage that for our appointments all we do is ring him, no questions, "hold phone to belly" Probably still cost $200!
This means that i have to take a considerable time off work to sit in an office and have him say "so any questions?" IF... IF we say no, thats it, thanks for coming, dont let the door hit yout ass on the way out. He checks blood pressure and listens for the babies heart. Sends the bill to our health fund... an extreme amount.
I hear the people who did it via the public systems, they still had appointments, less frequent and didnt cost a thing. I wonder if we will progress (in the distant future) to the stage that for our appointments all we do is ring him, no questions, "hold phone to belly" Probably still cost $200!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Whats your idea of fatherhood?
I was reading this article: http://www.mahoganybaby.com/November2006/dadsspot1106.html
I disagree with it to some extent. What the author is saying is that the concept of fatherhood has evolved into much more than just being the provider of the home. This is true i would think for some people but id give it more credit if a male had written it. It seems alot "information for dads" out there is written by women, and its accepted. Imagine if as a male i wrote a book on what to expect as a mother during pregnancy? o.O
To me, its still very much instilled (as a male) to be the provider for the family. It makes it harder when this may not happen and you have to become a "stay-at-home" dad. To me this would be a bit of a kick to the pride as it still seems that the idea of being the provider is expected. Sure women are earning more and are equal in the workplace, this is a good thing, but its still underlying that the man of the house is the provider.
Finding out that you will become a family is a mixed bag. Definately excited as its what was planned, however then my male mind went from being happy to "this means ill need to work longer, harder to cover what my wife was bringing in, its time to budget, to cut back any enjoyable things i have had (foxtel, WoW etc)" Sure there is maternity leave, but its not long enough, 12 weeks to then go back to work? To have your 12 week old baby go to child care? I don't think so. I can just picture it at the 11 week mark of maternity leave. She is not going to want to go back to work. Im sure it will work out, im self employed which then presents itself with other options but it means finding something I can do at home if my wife does choose to go back to work (just need to come up with that option!). Becoming a Dad is very much feeling your way in the dark. No matter how much information you have thrust into your hand.
Ive read a couple of "Dad" books to try and get an idea of what Im expected to do/react as a dad to be. The problem with these books is that it makes me feel like im the odd one. Some say this would be true! hmm. These books seem to be filled with "candy shop" mentality. For example; pages of "I was so ecstatic that we had a little bundle of joy come into the world, its such a miracle i found myself tearing up when we saw the ultrasound" Hmm get a grip metrosexual, i was more relieved we werent having bloody twins.
So for me my idea of fatherhood is at its core still the provider, as much as things may get tight or not as gourmet as we are used, its still the crux of being a father in my eyes. Being there when needed but also to have fun. Cant be a grumpy old man all the time.
I disagree with it to some extent. What the author is saying is that the concept of fatherhood has evolved into much more than just being the provider of the home. This is true i would think for some people but id give it more credit if a male had written it. It seems alot "information for dads" out there is written by women, and its accepted. Imagine if as a male i wrote a book on what to expect as a mother during pregnancy? o.O
To me, its still very much instilled (as a male) to be the provider for the family. It makes it harder when this may not happen and you have to become a "stay-at-home" dad. To me this would be a bit of a kick to the pride as it still seems that the idea of being the provider is expected. Sure women are earning more and are equal in the workplace, this is a good thing, but its still underlying that the man of the house is the provider.
Finding out that you will become a family is a mixed bag. Definately excited as its what was planned, however then my male mind went from being happy to "this means ill need to work longer, harder to cover what my wife was bringing in, its time to budget, to cut back any enjoyable things i have had (foxtel, WoW etc)" Sure there is maternity leave, but its not long enough, 12 weeks to then go back to work? To have your 12 week old baby go to child care? I don't think so. I can just picture it at the 11 week mark of maternity leave. She is not going to want to go back to work. Im sure it will work out, im self employed which then presents itself with other options but it means finding something I can do at home if my wife does choose to go back to work (just need to come up with that option!). Becoming a Dad is very much feeling your way in the dark. No matter how much information you have thrust into your hand.
Ive read a couple of "Dad" books to try and get an idea of what Im expected to do/react as a dad to be. The problem with these books is that it makes me feel like im the odd one. Some say this would be true! hmm. These books seem to be filled with "candy shop" mentality. For example; pages of "I was so ecstatic that we had a little bundle of joy come into the world, its such a miracle i found myself tearing up when we saw the ultrasound" Hmm get a grip metrosexual, i was more relieved we werent having bloody twins.
So for me my idea of fatherhood is at its core still the provider, as much as things may get tight or not as gourmet as we are used, its still the crux of being a father in my eyes. Being there when needed but also to have fun. Cant be a grumpy old man all the time.
Welcome
Well I'm still unsure of this whole blogging idea, I've never been one to write a diary and spend most of my time on forums etc. However a part of me thinks this is a good idea to give a more realistic male approach to becoming a dad.
I can be very opinionated so you will most likely see many criticisms of info i come across as I like to take things in and do them my own way. But thats just it really, all the information out there for mothers, babies and dads are all from an individuals point of view. So far the best advice ive been given is "dont listen to anyone except your chosen doctor as no two pregnancies are alike"
I had wanted to do a week by week thing from Week one. However with life, work and all that getting in the way we are currently at 13 weeks! hmm. Better late than never.
Any information you have, links, suggested books please post them up.
Damien
I can be very opinionated so you will most likely see many criticisms of info i come across as I like to take things in and do them my own way. But thats just it really, all the information out there for mothers, babies and dads are all from an individuals point of view. So far the best advice ive been given is "dont listen to anyone except your chosen doctor as no two pregnancies are alike"
I had wanted to do a week by week thing from Week one. However with life, work and all that getting in the way we are currently at 13 weeks! hmm. Better late than never.
Any information you have, links, suggested books please post them up.
Damien
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